Advice In Dealing with Parents

This was a post written by a sister who has recently lost her father...subhan'Allah it is a very well written article; and it deals with one of the issues about parents that most, if not all, Muslims are facing today.....


AsSalaamu Alaikum
Insha Allah this finds everyone in teh best of health and happiness. I've recently learned a lot about life and just thought I would share some of it with you....
The beloved Prophet (S) said once that the matters of the believer are strange. If good befalls him, he is thankful and it is good for him and if a misfortune befalls him he has patience and it is better for him. What has always struck me about this hadith is Rasulullah (S)’s use of the word “strange” because subhanAllah, this is the most appropriate term. Having just lost my father to a sudden, unexpected heart attack, I can only use the word “strange” to describe my situation. Because despite the momentous tragedy, I find myself learning so much about life, Islam, and love and I find myself more grateful now than ever. And the reason my heart yearns to reach out to you is because it took something this grave for me to realize my mistakes and I wish to Allah none of you has to learn through something so difficult.
My dear respected brothers and sisters, life is too short to make all the mistakes yourself so I beseech you to learn from mine. I know you have probably heard it a thousand times that “Jannah is beneath the feet of your mother” or not to say even “uff” to your parents. But I beg of you, please wake up and REALIZE this with your heart before it is too late. Allah granted me 18 years with my amazing, god-fearing, compassionate father but still it seems like just yesterday my brother and I were grabbing onto his legs trying to stop him from going to work. And I swear to you by Allah, if I could have even one more day back with my father, I would have changed so much of the way I behaved with him. Everything was always about me and if I could have another chance, I wouldn’t be so selfish. I would make it about my dad. I wish it wasn’t him who had waited at the train station for ten minutes for the train to arrive. I wish it wasn’t him who was late to work because he dropped me off to school in the winter cold. I wish it wasn’t him who had to wake up in the middle of the night to make me medicine for a fever. I wish it wasn’t him who would go shopping and make me lamb biryani when my mom was out of town. I wish it wasn’t him who took care of all my school paperwork and tuition. By the mercy of Allah, so it was, but I wish SOOOOO bad that I had showed him the slightest bit of gratitude. I wish I would have waken up early and made him breakfast before he went to work. I wish I would’ve realized how much he really did for us. I wish I could’ve told him how much I truly loved him. I wish he knew how much I miss him. I wish, I wish, I wish…
My wishing will never go away, but at least you can learn from this. My dear brothers and sisters, appreciate your parents and respect them and obey Allah’s command when He says to treat them with kindness and to lower a wing of humility when dealing with them. Some people are lucky enough to serve their parents in their old age, but I did not repay my father in any way for everything he did for us. I cannot imagine what my account will be with Allah. I know it seems so peculiar, but tell your parents that you love them because this remains but a dire thirst that I wish I could quench. As college students, our lives tend to revolve around our friends and often, we will make our parents angry to please our friends. But we must always remember that before your friends being pleased with you, Allah will ask you if your parents were. I wish more than anything to know if my dad was pleased with me. There is nothing I could fathom that I have done to make him happy, but parents are the strangest beings; even a smile from their child can melt their hearts in happiness.
The word “parents” could never be translated in anything shorter than a novel. But stop for a second and think about what your parents gave up to get you to where you are right now. I know my parents gave up more than just money to raise us. They submitted their lives for our benefit giving up their own dreams, their sleep, their friends, even the food off their plate. I have tried to figure out why parents decide to have kids and I have failed to find a reason. Parents do EVERYTHING for their children and I mean EVERTHING, but what do children do for their parents? NOT A SINGLE THING. We do NOTHING for our parents. When we are young, we step on their feet and when we get older, we step on their hearts. What do we sacrifice for them? Nothing. It is completely beyond me why parents have kids. SubhanAllah.
I miss my dad, as is natural, and I see him in everything that I do; I hear him telling me about how eggs are expired if they are runny, I see him wiping his face after wudu, and I imagine him snoring two doors over. But I think, then, how much do I love the Prophet (S)? How much do I miss him? How many tears have I cried, yearning for one minute in the company of Rasulullah (S)? We might be young, my brothers and sisters, but we must get our priorities straight. True love is manifested in the absence of a person. The Prophet (S) is not with us anymore, but how much do we remember him? Behind what actions do we see him and hear him? Trees used to weep because they missed Rasulullah (S) when he was standing only feet away. We are standing more than 1400 years from him, but we have no tears. Discover true love for the Prophet (S) because subhanAllah, love keeps a person alive and his good deeds accumulating. And love for the Prophet (S) is what will drive us to be true Muslims.

Please pay heed to these words before it is too late. Appreciate your parents and realize, unlike me, that a day will come when you don’t have your parents. And only then will it be possible to realize how much they truly did for you. Please keep me and my family and my father in your duas. May Allah forgive our living, our dead, those present, those absent, the young among us and the old, the men and the women. Ameen.

Wassalaam
Bushrah Bakhsh